Dolphins

Josefina, senior extraordinaire, just came back from the bathroom with the following:

"Ms., I have a question. We have gay rights week to support people who are gay, right? Well... why don't we support people who love dogs then? I mean, they're both different than what's normal... so..."

Interesting teachable moment.

"Well, Josefina, it all goes back to what we call 'societal norms.' Originally, homosexuality was taboo in our society. But as we've evolved, and sex has become something people do for recreation and not just procreation, it has become less taboo. Some people simply are more sexually attracted and fulfilled by same sex relationships than opposite sex relationships. However... I think that bestiality is still pretty taboo in our society."

Edwin then chimed in with: "Dolphins have sex just for fun."

Alex: "Yeah, and we learned in Science and Society that dolphins also have guy on guy dolphin sex."

Yet another day in Technology Skills for Life.

Vincent

Vincent: "Ms. Mayer, can I tell you the racist joke now?"

Mayer: (sighs) "Yes."

V: "Okay, so this black guy walks into a white man's bar..."

M: "Why does it always have to be about a white guy?"

V: "If you look throughout history, white people are always angry about stuff. Can I just tell you the joke??"

M: "Yeah yeah, go ahead."

V: "Okay, so this black guy walks into a bar and the white owner says 'We don't allow colored people in here.' And the black guy says, 'Colored? You're pink when you're born, green when you're sick, blue when you're cold, tan when you're in the sun... and you call ME colored??' and walks out."

Friday: Last Period

It's 3:01pm last Friday. My last class comes barging in, and Kiana marches straight up to me with a pouty little look and says, "Look what they put in my locker." She hands me a piece of folded paper. I open it to find a drawing of a penis. At this point, it's ignorable, so I tell her, "I'm sorry... stupid boys. Let's just forget about it and start class."

3:03pm: Kiana comes to the front of the class while I'm in the middle of getting started and hands me another piece of paper with a "Ms. Mayer!" look on her face. It is, of course, another drawing of a penis. No longer ignorable, I hold up both drawings to the class and say, "Is this how we're going to end our week?" A couple shouts of "It's Anthony! It's Anthony!" rain out.

This disturbs Anthony, who immediately flips open his notebook and fiercely draws a penis. He comes to the front of the classroom holding his own drawing, and I realize that at 3:06pm, I am standing in front of my 9th grade English class with three separate drawings of a penis. It becomes clear, however, that Anthony is not responsible for the first two drawings as his penis drawing is clearly different. I announce, "Okay, Anthony, we can all agree that the first two drawings are not yours. Can we PLEASE start class now? Enough penis talk."

Everyone gets settled. Class is running smoothly. I am rotating to each student to check the outlines of their Of Mice and Men papers. It is pin drop silent as each student is finally diligently working on their writing. I am pouring over a student's work when I hear from behind me Pamela Reyes yelling.

"It won't go in Ms. Mayer! It won't go in!"

I freeze. I have a total panic flashback to the beginning of class. I take a deep breath, realizing there is NO WAY the two incidents can be related.

But it's too late. Mohammad sees the look on my face. He says, "Ms. Mayer, seriously? That's where your head is at??"

I turn around to see Pamela trying ferociously to get a piece of lead back into her mechanical pencil.

Deep breaths all around.

"This Kid"

Today we are putting George on trial for the murder of Lennie. One of my favorite students from last year, Juancarlos, has been asking me if he could serve on jury duty since the beginning of the year. I cleared it with the principal, and Juancarlos has been spending the afternoon with me.

As I am typing this, there is a different class in my room. Mr. Dixon is teaching a lovely group of students, including a child we'll call Curley for annonymous sake. Juancarlos is quietly doing research on my laptop.

Curley is not happy. He doesn't want to be in class, and is pushing boundaries fast and hard. In the span of twenty minutes, Curley reaches the consequence of being sent out to the dean. He mouths off a bit on his way out the door. The class is relatively silent because of the altercation and the dean referral.

It is at this point that Juancarlos, just one grade ahead of these 9th graders, turns to me and says, "Who is this kid?"

How fast they grow up.

Living History

Malcolm: Ms.! I can't type!

Mayer: Yes you can, Malcolm, yes you can.

Malcolm: This is not the Obama campaign.

E-mails

I am teaching a senior class I have dubbed "Technology Skills for Life." We are working on typing skills and basic computer etiquette. Today, my students' first assessment was due, and they had to attach their projects and send them to me via e-mail. In their instructions for e-mailing their projects, I asked them to write me something funny in the body of the e-mail. Here are some of my favorites:

YYYOOO0O0O!!! what do u call candy dat is late?? CHOCO- LATE! - Malcolm

whats the funniest part of the egg ????? --------------------------- THE YOLK !!!! get it get it ? JOKE YOLK ?? yea :D - Lissete

this is from glee : Santana: so get up in my grill, cus britts and i want to get our anethesia awn ! - Nairobe

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." - Jhemerlyn

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. - Josefina

Yo yo yo check it check it!
we in typing class
I hope i pass
this weekend was little crazy
but hey @ least i don't have a baby!
and yeah im kind of lazy but im never shady!
Ms.Mayer holding it up and down,
side to side! yeah dat right
you know i noe how to sort of rhyme :) lol - Edyaline